Said a Little Prayer
M Alan Roberts

I said a little prayer a few weeks ago, and I'm not even what you call a religious man. I figured that it certainly couldn't hurt anything - even if it landed on a deaf God. In my prayer, I asked that the members of the military forces be spared any further misfortunes. I asked that the troops, both ours and theirs, be spared the further degradation that murder will bring upon them. It could be that those who die are more fortunate than those who live. Now, we all know that men have always fought wars for money and control - the money that gold and oil brings, and the control that organized religion used to bring.

For the Arabs, they still fight for their unfounded beliefs of eternal bliss and worldly blessings for their survivors. For the Americans, we train our soldiers to believe that they are fighting for a just cause - world peace and the liberation of repressed people. In reality, our young men and women are giving their lives needlessly everyday for the further advancement of the most corrupt government on the planet. In the midst of it all, the American people are being taxed to death to the tune of multiple hundreds of billions of dollars every year. And all the while, there are good people in our American streets that are hoping to find a shelter for the evening that won't turn them away, and that may just have something for them to eat.

Given that, I decided to say a little extra prayer for the homeless people of the planet - not just the Americans. What sense would it make to say a wholesome prayer just for a certain group of people based upon where they were born? No, not me. I prayed for all people on the planet who are in the streets, hungry, alone and afraid. It couldn't hurt, right?

Well, I was getting pretty comfortable in this prayer and so I thought maybe I would throw a little something in for the rich who have no compassion (those besides the governmental officials this time). I asked for them to be made aware of the gifts that they could bestow upon their fellow human beings every day instead of bathing themselves in further luxury. I guess when a person becomes super rich, they just consider themselves blessed and think that they have earned it somehow. Still, what about the people who are far more virtuous who live in the sewers? So, I prayed a little for the rich so that they can learn to share a bit, at least.

Something struck my mind from the past and I then found myself asking for forgiveness for the ladies of the night. It seems that I have known more than my fair share of them and I wanted to help them out. So, I tossed in a few choice words for them so that they might find something more to believe in. And then, I said "Amen".

Now, at this moment, I was flooded with confusion. You see, as I told you, I'm not the world's most religious man and I haven't prayed in many years. But, figuring it couldn't hurt anything worse than things already seem to be, I went ahead and prayed. But I remembered that there is a special way to end the prayer as to make it valid to the ominous Creator. (personally, I feel if the Creator is ominous, then he or she already knows the way that's appropriate and I shouldn't have to worry so much.) Still, I didn't know whether to bow and cross myself like a Catholic; say "In Jesus Name I pray" like a Baptist; throw my hands up and speak in tongues like in the Church of God or do a damned flip-flop. I was perplexed!

So I did all of it.

You see, I wanted this prayer to go through to the completely-compassionate, totally-forgiving, ever-loving, all-seeing Creator. I wanted some results.

And then I waited - and waited - and waited.

Well, I'm still waiting. As far as I can tell, my prayer didn't make it through after all. Maybe the Creator thought that I was mocking him (or her) with all the theatrics at the end of my little harmless prayer, but I was just trying to be thorough - really. I hope that I didn't make her (or him) angry and cause the world to suffer even more than it already has continually since the beginning of time. Man, I hope that my little prayer isn't an indirect catalyst for yet another war waged in the name of the one and only Creator.

Talking about all of this makes me feel bad. I feel that, once again, I have let everyone down - that I alone have caused the world to be a far worse place. I am going to bed now - and I don't think that I will pray again tonight. I don't want all these wars, death, poverty, hunger, sickness, crime, devastation and evil to be accentuated on my account.

Goodnight.