The First Draft
David Simmonds

As the General Services Administrator certified the Joe Biden win over Donald Trump, the transition of the presidency finally began to roll.  That meant planning for inauguration day on 20 January was top priority. Planning for the next fours years was also important.

Drafting the speech.

With that in mind, the Biden team started to work on his inauguration speech. The Wellington Times has been fortunate to obtain a copy of the first draft of the speech from sources within the team. The theme of the speech is inclusiveness.

Inclusiveness was represented in the speech, itself, through use of a phrase or phrases uttered by every US president, from Franklin Delano Roosevelt to Donald J T****.

Why not have some fun, with this practice. Let’s try to match the words to the presidents who spoke them.  

A few examples from the Biden speech.

One, “My fellow Americans. Let me say straight away, I am not a crook. Rather Ich bin din Ukrainer, a citizen of the free western world.”

Two, “In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand greatness is never a given: it must be earned.  Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and begin again the work of remaking America. As my dad used to say to me, the only thing we must fear is fear itself.

 Three, “To those of you who received honours, awards or distinctions, I say well done. To the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States. Let me add this. I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.”

Four, “Too many of us now tend to worship self indulgence and consumption. I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times.  And yet you can put wings on a pig, but you don't make it an eagle; but then again, when the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.

Five, “The buck stops here, as my high school principal used to say. Our long national nightmare is over because the future doesn't belong to the fainthearted. It belongs to the brave.”

Six, “I say to Americans that the freedom of the individual and his [or her] willingness to follow real leadership are at the core of the strength of America.  My Sunday school teacher always encouraged me to transfer power from Washington, DC and give it back to you, the American People.  From this moment on, it’s going to be America First.”

Seven, “I have always felt that a people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both. My grandfather always used to remind me; ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. We must remember peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.”

Eight, “May God bless America.” 

The Times reviewed the draft speech. It concluded the speech needs more work.  Maybe the Biden team should recruit Melania T**** to advise it on how to make a quality speech that doesn’t hijack other people’s words.

How many did you get right?

How did you make out on matching your words and presidents?  There were some gimmes, but a few to dig harder for. The presidents, in order, one-through-eight, are Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman, Dwight Eisenhower, John Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Donald T****.