Health is Wrong Here
M Alan Roberts

Madly popular US president, Barrack Obama, and a delegation of his closest caballeros, smiled widely, shook hands, gave hugs, whispered in ears, pinched butts and otherwise glorified themselves earlier today at the Health Care Reform bill signing ceremony in Washington, DC. As a group of smug-but-happy-looking, upper-tier democrats got stoned on political victory. pissed-off Republicans immediately took action to initiate multi-state lawsuits. In fact, they already had the legal documentation written-up, signed, sealed and ready to hand deliver. As soon as old Barrack put down the 20th of 20 commemorative ink pens that he used to sign the bill, 36 US states announced their intentions to fight at least parts of the new law because they are, as they say, "unconstitutional."

State Attorney Generals from 14 states have already initiated lawsuits. Expect more suits to follow. What Americans can honestly count on is years and years more of the same old crap that keeps spreading. Hiding behind their claims of what they believe to be best for the people. Senators and Congressmen continue to prolong, unnecessarily, with red tape battles, civilian confusion and basic governmental inactivity.

I'm sitting here asking myself, "How has this new American health care law affected me?" You see, I am one of those tens of millions of Americans who have no medical insurance. If I were to, say, get dizzy, fall down and hit my head because of all the pollutants in my environment that I have to breathe every day, there will be no medical provision for me. If a group of fanatical cops mercilessly beat me, no medical clinic would open its caring arms to me as a patient. If I were to lose my mind, in a sudden moment abject sanity, because I became unable to stand another moment of the lies on CNN, there would be no tranquility-inducing antidepressant medications provided to calm me. If I tried to grow my own medication from nature's seeds, I would be a felon.

Obama, who made comments about the absurdity, with which politics carried on, today, also made it a point to say that there are direct benefits that Americans will start receiving immediately because of the new law. He said that about four million small businesses are privy, immediately, to a tax break for providing insurance for their employees.

That doesn't apply to me.

He said that tens of thousands of Americans, with preexisting medical conditions, might buy full-fledged health care and not face discrimination.

I can't afford it even if it is available.

He said that by 2014, all Americans will have the option to purchase quality health care insurance from a newly invigorated, fair-for-everybody health care insurance market.If they choose to not, they will simply incur a 2.5% tax penalty on their earnings for the year.

Hmm, let's see: 2.5% of nothing is what I have, on me.

I find myself thinking that there will be no way I can allocate any personal funds towards the procurement of personal health care insurance before I finish paying my court fines off. You see, if I don't, they'll revoke my probation; I go directly to the can and wont pass go. That sucks. As usual, I will have to forgo the pleasures of having solid health care insurance.

It's not as if I could count on receiving quality health care if I was in jail. More likely, I would contract some type of hepatitis, jaundice or other communicable disease from my fellow inmates. If Bubba would leave me along, then some redneck cop would probably be kicking my ass somewhere. In any case, I can't count on the jail system to keep me healthy. Maybe the prison system has more and better health care resources. I could commit some type of white-collar crime and do easy time in near-luxury federal pen; they probably have it going on there.

More likely than not though, I will live the remainder of my life as a free man at least not behind bars. I asked what I must do to get this health care thing going on for me. After a lot of thought, I came up with a solution. It's the same solution for every single one of my problems: money. I need more money. Regardless of which of my life's challenges I consider, the only real solution is always to acquire more cash.

No, money cannot buy your health or happiness. I know that. I also know that the vast majority of people who say that are poor. I say, who needs health without any money? Life is a drag when you're broke and can't seem to get ahead. Let's say a person had too much vitality and certainly would life another 100 years. What good is that if he or she had no money? You can't help others. You can't make ends meet. You can't accomplish dreams that seem to be just a few grand away year after long year.

You certainly can't afford any damn health care insurance either.

Obama also said, today, that this new health care law saves the United States more than one trillion dollars over the next two decades. One trillion is $1,000,000,000,000. How nice for them. Hey Washington, can anyone there loan me a measly five grand? I need bailed out man.